Assalamou Aley Koum.From Ms Nabiha Mutasim.

Assalamou Aley Koum.
Dear Sir.

We are very sorry if this might offend you .though we don't know you but i and my youger brother believes that the spirit of lovely dead father who left us unfortunately is always by our side .We know he is aware where ever he is, that we are contact you to assist us with our heart based on trust .For we beleive that he will never allow us to go into the hands of evill men.

Permit my younger brother and i to introduce our selves to you.And to describe our Problem to you in this present situation and Almighty Allah whom we serve will reward you.
My name is Nabiha Mutasim, 24ys and my younger brother Shakil Mutasim 22ys old , we are the only daughter and son of late Mr.and Mrs. Dr. Abdulhakeem Annes Mutasim. We are a nationality of Benin Republic.

My father was a highly reputable busnness magnet-(a cocoa merchant) who operated in the capital of Dakar Senegal during his days.It is sad to say that he passed away mysteriously in France during one of his business trips abroad in the year of 2001 12th. October .Though his sudden death was linked or rather suspected to have been done by an uncle of his who travelled with him at that time. But Almighty Allah knows the truth.

Our mother died when my younger brother and i were very young, and since then our father took us so special. Before his death on october 12th 2001, he told me and Shakil that he has the sum of Twelve Million, Six Hundred Thousand United State Dollars.
(USD$12.600.000) at a bank here in dakar senegal.

I am just 24years old and a university undergraduate and really don't know what to do. My younger brother and i are seeking for a trust warthy and honest foreign partner who will help us to receive this total fund for us and help us in investing the total fund and my younger brother and i will come over and live with him in his country also continue our education because of the problems we faced in our family after the death of our parents.

Sir we want to nominate you as a foreign partner to me and my younger brother at the bank where our late father deposited the total fund when he was alive so that you will receive the fund from the bank for us.

This is because we have suffered a lot of set backs as a result of incessant political crisis here in Dakar Senegal. The death of my father actually brought sorrow to my younger brother and my life.We would appreciate it if you accept to be every sincere to us .
If you can help us we are going to provide the necesarry Documents which the fund was Deposited with so that you can receive the Total fund from the bank on our behafe for our invesment over there in your country and also to foward our educations .My younger brother and i are in a sincere desire of your humble assistance in this regards. Your suggestions and ideas will be highly regarded.

Please my younger brother and i want to ask you these few questions:-

A. Can you honestly help us ?
B. Can my younger brothet and i completely trust you?
C. And please how do we compasate you?

We need some one that we will trust and will not betray me and my younger brother but before anything, we are going to make every thing legal and know you more.Please if you can help us in a honest way send us your private email address so that we can tell you more about our selve and how to contact the bank so that you will make enquiries from the bank.May Almighty Allah bless you.

Please do fill the form below for your nomination at the Bank here in Dakar Senegal

Here are the necessary informations needed by the Bank.

1. Your Full Name..............................................
2.Nationality.............................................................
3. Your Age ............................Sex...................
4.Marital Status................................................
5.Your Occupation..............Position.......... ..............
6.YourHomeAddress.......................OfficeAddress..................
7.YourTelephonenumber..................Fax Number...........
8.A Scan Copy Of Your International Passport Or Driving Licence....................
9. Bank Account Details............................................

May Almight Allah guide you as you reply us . Please reply us with this email address. ( nabiha_shakil2@yahoo.com ).

Thank you so much.
Yours sincere ,
Ms Nabiha and Brother Shakil Mutasim.

National Nana League

So we are down to the final weekend and I want to invite you all to Foxboro for the championship game. I am proud to say that it will be an all Grafton Nana Bowl - playing for the coveted Nana's Chair --

The Mighty Might Litos vs. Franky Pancakes for all the cash and the trophy!

Do you see Pierre Here

At most holidays Jeff does a poem or a song. This Christmas at my house was no different.

An ongoing joke is that Pierre is clearly the perennial son in law of the year winner for doing all sorts of things for the Smiths (whereas Nick won't let any of the kids skate, Jeff won't do any legal work and I won't attend to anyone's IT needs). The rest of just can't compete. A typical example is we head over to 158 Dana Ave and there is the bed of the Pierre's truck in Don's snowblower (crap - if I was there just 10 minutes sooner - I would have had the honor of getting his snowblower fixed and been in competition for the 2006 award. So the song this year was about Pierre. Video Coming Soon. Sung to the tune of "Do You See What I See" See melody here: http://ingeb.org/songs/doyouhea.mid

Do You See Pierre Here?

Said the Donald to his wife Sheila Smith
Do you see Pierre here? (Do you see Pierre here?)

We need him here with us right now
Do you see Pierre here? (Do you see Pierre here?)

The snow may come within a week or so
We must be sure Pierre is found
'Cause the snow can't fall to the ground
________________________________________________________________________

Said Sheila to her daughter Jennifer
Is Pierre over there?
(Is Pierre over there?)
Your father wants to see him right away
Is Pierre over there? (Is Pierre over there?)

It's supposed to snow perhaps later in the week
If he comes the trophy will be won
Then your Dad will treat him like a son
________________________________________________________________________

Said Pierre to his wife and to his kids
I must go to Smith's now (I must go to Smith's now)

The Donald has called - he needs me right away
I must go to Smith's now (I must go to Smith's now)

Sorry kids, you must stay at home alone
When it snows out, I must be near
So that I'll be in-law of the year
________________________________________________________________________

Said Tony to his pals Jeff and Nick
What is it with this guy? (What is it with this guy?)

Always around to fix this and that
What is it with this guy? (What is it with this guy?)

He drives me nuts - always doing chores
He's really a Smith family mole
Let's never take him to a Super Bowl
(He's really a Smith family mole, Let's never take him to a Super Bowl)

ode to the alcs

ODE TO THE ALCS

And so it all has now come to a glorious end
No more drama or heartbreak we need to expend
The Sox have indeed crawled way back from the dead
And left those hated Yanks shocked by a sock that was red

It began so much earlier, more than eighty years prior
Legions of talented Sox teams with all the desire
But year after year splendid teams they would splinter
Leaving those in Sox Nation on the hot stove each winter

2004 proved to be different - they had changed, we could tell
New owners, good defense and some pitching as well
Let's adopt a new plan, rebuild every component
At the end of the day, it was their time, their moment

The 36/38 gang, they had watched it transcend
And they witnessed this history right on down to the end
A trip to the Bronx to take in game one
With some at game three when the Sox appeared done

A ban placed on one - he can't go alone
For if he acts up and goes, we all must go home
With this one far away, the Sox pulled out game four
And two more great games left the gang wanting more.

For game seven they all gathered by e-mail device
An old habit from Super Bowl wins not just one time, but twice
Each had his role in the Nation and were ready for fun
They rooted their team, knowing the empire was done

They yukked up laughs over roles, bad calls, an old chair
Why Not Us? asked the gang. It just seemed so fair
This thing with Bambino doesn't bother our team
This isn’t impossible. This isn’t a dream

What followed was epic. The curse it was lifted!
It was shocking at first - for this team, it was gifted
Can it surpass those before - '75, '86 and the others?
Should they do that we surely will love them like brothers

So, we rejoice our new champs. Bring on the Cards!
We must finish this thing - it’s all in the stars
And while we root on our team for that World Series banner
Please know that this joy is a gift, it’s a gift straight from Nana

game 7

Not to be melodramatic about it, but...

1946 to 1967 to 1972 to 1975 to 1978 to 1986 to 2003. As it was in the
beginning, is now, and I fear ever shall be, the Red Sox have once again
come up short. Last night's game was the most painful Red Sox game in
my lifetime. Pedro's machismo and Grady's good nature will go down in
Red Sox lore just as have Galehouse and Pesky and Dent and Buckner. But
let's face it, this is what being a Red Sox fan is all about.

To use a famous Smith family metaphor, it's not unlike getting your
first washing machine. Once you have it, you can't go back. It's the
chase we crave, not the title. Our chant in Milton is "Get Us to Labor
Day!", not "See You in October." This, my friends, is what holds Red
Sox Nation together. When they win, we will be just like any other fans
in America who get to enjoy a win every now and then. Until then, it
will be "Wait 'Till Next Year."

For many of us, our introduction to this phenomenon began in 1975. I
turned 14 that October. I well remember attending with by brother game
1 against Oakland in the ALCS that year. We sat in the center field
bleachers by ourselves. I remember the next weekend camping in the rain
with the Sox/Reds on the radio (a Tiant win), Ed Armbrister, Bernie
Carbo's homeruns, jumping up and down with my father and brother with
Fisk hit his shot, and, of course, a disappointing game 7 loss. For
Danny, Matt and B (at least), 2003 is 1975.

We all gathered around the television. Joe and Jerry were on the radio.
No snacks -- too big a game to eat. Danny kept score. Matt and I
shared a score sheet, and B kept track of hits, runs and errors by
inning. We had Tony and Mike in row 12 at The Stadium on the cell
phone. Gradually, Patti, Matt and B went upstairs, leaving Danny and
me alone downstairs. At 11:05 pm, it was there for the taking. But it
was, of course, not to be. At 12:22 this morning, after Boone's blast
in the 11th and after we both had filled in the "HR" box on our
scoresheets, I turned to Danny and said "So now you know what it is like
to be a Red Sox fan."

And so it is.

FW: Breaking News: Red Sox Replace GM

Too much free time. STOP.

FAT TONY:

Got your message. STOP.
Sending this telegram from the shore instead of e-mail. STOP.
Some good ideas, but no time to discuss opportunities with the big club. STOP.
Busy wiping Larry's ass right now. STOP.
Check in later. STOP.

Best,

The GM

: RE: Breaking News: Red Sox Replace GM

Hi Mr. Mullan ...

My name is Fat Tony from Grafton. Congratulations on your new job. I just wanted to drop a dime to let you know I have some great ideas for trades

Manny to the Devil Rays for Rocco Baldelli (think of the RI people that will flock to Fenway)

Take the money you save and sign Johnny Damon, Burnett and Barry Bonds.

Trade Olerud and Millar to St. Louis for Pujols (just think of the word play with Poo Holes (credit to TSG).

Trade Wells to the Mets for Pedro

Sign Hillenbrand and trade him to the Diamondback for Byung Young Kim and Troy Glaus

So you will have traded Manny, Millar, Olerud and Wells for a 1st baseman, 3rd Basement, a number 1 and 2 starters, left fielder and centerfielder.

What do you think?

BTW - in case you were wondering ... I have alligators in my mom's bathtub.

In case you were wondering ... I am considering leaving Cisco and getting into baseball full time ... whaddaya think about hiring. Except when drinking, I speak perfect Worcester English (should help you with the Blue Jays connection).

I could be your Josh Brynes.

-----Original Message-----
From: Boston.com Newsletters [mailto:newsletters@boston.com]
Sent: Monday, October 31, 2005 5:51 PM
To: Foley Hoag
Subject: Breaking News: Red Sox Replace GM

The Red Sox have announced that Jeff Mullan, an obscure real estate lawyer from Milton, has been named to replace Theo Epstein as Sox GM according to news reports by WBZ and WHDH-TV. Mullan is said to have been stalking Larry Lucchino for years, beginning with a chance meeting at Camden Yards in 2002. When asked for comment, Mullan simply said "It's my time, my moment."

A news conference to discuss the development has been called for Mullan's office on the Boston waterfront at 1:00 today --Developing story

To read more, visit http://www.boston.com

To unsubscribe to this mailing, please simply send a blank message to unsub-873151-6093@unsub.boston.com and you will automatically be removed.

If you have any questions, you may contact Boston.com at the following address: Boston.com, Attn: E-mail administrator, 320 Congress Street, Boston, MA 02210.

Copyright 2005 The New York Times Company

HOF Entry - Sully and Affleck

This is a picture of Sully stalking Ben Affleck at a Fenway bathroom. This was game 3 Pedro / Roger 2003 ALCS.

"do you know who is in there?"

HOF Entry #1

As nominated by JBM - the interview outside of Yankee Stadium.

Notice MikeR and the Pizza at about 54 seconds - nothing like some NY Pie.

Nickie at 1:10, me at 1:16

I certainly had the Curse of Curt Schilling right ... I was only off by 5 games.

http://us.f2.yahoofs.com/bc/432ee43e_cba9/bc/videos/fox25pregame1.wmv?bfouzLDBwIOcaREU

RE: Weekend Recap

Missed in the comment section of my blog:

The Supreme Ruler of the 21st Pharonic Dynasty of Modern Times, and owner and GM of the Phabulous Pharoahs, bestows 40 virgins to each of his star week one performers, collectible upon their entry into Paradise. He also pities the poor infidels that stand in our way as the PP's march to victory in the NNL. Who were those girly-girl UGHers? What's a MityLito - a bug to be squashed in week II?

My team is too busy building my Temple Mausolem (for when I enter Paradise and collect my virgins) to talk trash during the week. I let them do the talking on the Fantasy Football gridiron each weekend. My PR hacks will provide the blog with appropriate drivel, however.

When your in middle of a covert op bodily functions become secondary. To be honest, I probably pissed myself at least 5 times and didn't even notice. I was completely drenched from head to tow in a foul mixture of water, silt, gas, oil and god knows what else. So putting a little urine into the mix was probably an upgrade.

---

HOF

You didn't have to take a piss that whole time?

I've attached a quick overview of what transpired on that fateful night. I'll send you the bill

PFC LongPongLobsters

---

The weekend recap….

…Nana's Blog needs a little work. Tony: can it be set up so that the entire e-mail string doesn't go in there?

…we still need the Nana HOF.

…there is nothing quite so humbling as to get pasted by your 2 year old nephew in fantasy football. Franky Pancakes blasted me and he still has guys to play. Since I am subsidizing four teams, if this keeps up, being in the league is going to be like owning a boat.

…I know there is a great story that I have not yet heard regarding the near sinking of the SS Nana's Gift. I understand that Mr. LongPondLobsters saved the day. Truly outstanding. What do I owe you? Before you answer, remember, the boat was free.

…the photo from JAXXXXIX the other day brought me right back to that moment - sitting in that IHOP with my bad haircut eating breakfast with Richard Dent. As I recall, he picked up the check that morning - a little told Super Bowl story.

Back to work.

RE: Weekend Recap

When your in middle of a covert op bodily functions become secondary. To be honest, I probably pissed myself at least 5 times and didn't even notice. I was completely drenched from head to tow in a foul mixture of water, silt, gas, oil and god knows what else. So putting a little urine into the mix was probably an upgrade.

HOF

You didn't have to take a piss that whole time?

I've attached a quick overview of what transpired on that fateful night. I'll send you the bill

PFC LongPongLobsters

The weekend recap….

…Nana's Blog needs a little work. Tony: can it be set up so that the entire e-mail string doesn't go in there?

…we still need the Nana HOF.

…there is nothing quite so humbling as to get pasted by your 2 year old nephew in fantasy football. Franky Pancakes blasted me and he still has guys to play. Since I am subsidizing four teams, if this keeps up, being in the league is going to be like owning a boat.

…I know there is a great story that I have not yet heard regarding the near sinking of the SS Nana's Gift. I understand that Mr. LongPondLobsters saved the day. Truly outstanding. What do I owe you? Before you answer, remember, the boat was free.

…the photo from JAXXXXIX the other day brought me right back to that moment - sitting in that IHOP with my bad haircut eating breakfast with Richard Dent. As I recall, he picked up the check that morning - a little told Super Bowl story.

Back to work.

the Ophelia Tale

I'll give you the abbreviated version of the SS Nana's gift. At 8:00 pm(that means it was dark for any of you not currently on EST) on Friday after getting the SS Lobster Tales out of the marina(and harms way) I embarked on a mission to get the SS Nana's gift and the SS Lito Torpedo onto dry land before the wrath of Ophelia rained down on Long Pond(if I new then what I know now I would have been at the local bar having another beer rather than trying to save these vessels from the .000001 inches of rain and raging 3mph winds that Ophelia wrought on the cape). Anyway, after strategizing on the mission with commander Lito we decided my best course of action was to tow one of the trailers to the town landing and bicycle back to the vessels in peril (this was necessary as I was the lone operative on the mission. Due to the extreme danger involved Mighty Mighty Lito opted to stay in the command post and direct the mission from afar).

I should have aborted the mission when things immediately started to go awry. As I reassembled my mobile transporter (because the rear door in my SUV is still broken I couldn't get the d_mn thing in without breaking it down) the skies erupted with what appeared to be the beginnings of Ophelia's wrath. As it turns out it was just her having to relieve her bladder for a brief but very timely "port o potty" stop on me and my mission. With my transporter assembled (or so I thought) I ventured onto the dark and wet peril that is Long Pond road. About halfway to my destination I felt my military issue communication device alerting me to an incoming message from headquarters (or so I thought). As I attempted to stop to receive further orders I discovered that the idiotic mechanic (that would be me) who reassembled my ride had failed to reconnect the brakes. So I found myself crashing through a 6 inch puddle heading for a tree brakeless. Being ever resourceful I managed to bring the vehicle to a stop by falling off of it and using my flesh as a human brake pad. I quickly opened my communicator to get the urgent message. As luck would have it the severe precipitation that was falling had penetrated my communications device and turned it into very functional vibrator but rendered it useless for mission communications. I was now cut off from the command post. I'm pretty sure my handler was AWOL as later when communications were re-established no return communiqués could be gotten.

Still brakeless I managed to navigate the dark and treacherous trails of the Harwich Jungle and reached my destination. I entered the remote command post (RMC) to get the necessary additional supplies for the rest of the mission (as it was pitch dark I figured a flashlight might be helpful if I was going to captain the Lito/Mullen armada across enemy waters to the safe harbor known as Harwich beach/town landing where my now amphibious vehicle awaited me - why amphibious you ask, because I left the d_mn window open). I left the broken communication device at the RMC as it was still vibrating and good for nothing but massaging whatever ails you. I had visions of using it later to reward myself for a mission well done. I proceeded through the tropical rain forest and prepared to wade into the murky waters to board the imperiled craft. As I approached I heard what appeared to be enemy voices. As I reached the waters edge I decided my best option was to confront the enemy. I switched on my military issue flashlight and illuminated my quarry. To my immense surprise I found a half naked civilian attempting to drag a submerged 18 foot vessel out of the shoals and into shallower waters. Through his slurred words I gleaned that a few days earlier the area had experienced a driving storm that had left many vessels in severe need of bailing (> 5 inches of rain had fallen in one afternoon). Because of his severely slurred speech I feared he was experiencing hypothermia and offered my assistance in dragging (literally) his submerged craft onto the rocky beach nearby. As I entered the frigid 75 degree waters I knew that time was of the essence. As we stood shoulder to shoulder I quickly discerned the reason for his slurring. The enemy had plied him with truth serum (probably 150 proof). I enjoyed a brief second hand high breathing the toxic fumes he was exhaling.

I left my soused compatriot on the beach to ponder his options and waded out to commandeer the armada. As I approached the vessels I noticed that the enemy had another surprise in store for me. They had dumped an ample amount of flammable toxins into the water to deter human entry (the guys submerged engine had spilled copious amounts of oil and gas and the waters surface glistened like a rainbow). I knew I needed to act quickly as I watched my soused friend prepare to light up in celebration of having gotten ashore alive. The tiniest of sparks could turn the waters into a raging inferno. As I poked my head over the freeboard of the SS Nana’s Gift I saw that it too had felt the ravages of the priors days deluge. I shone my flashlight fore and aft and as I peered into the stern I saw nothing but the lapping of water where I expected to see the fuel containers and batteries stowed. Then I noticed what appeared to be a red aluminum container floating by me heading for the bow (word of advice – empty fuel tanks float a lot easier than full ones). I made a mental note that even if I got this scow seaworthy it might not have enough fuel to make the long perilous journey across the hostile waters. I decided a boarding was necessary to discern whether the SS Nana’s gift could be made ready to set sail. I boarded amidships and delayed long enough to remove the various fishhooks that had penetrated my flesh (another word of advice – stow your tackle box somewhere secure when not in use). As I surveyed the carnage I new this ship was going no where without some serious drainage. I searched the bow for a bailing device and finding nothing headed to the stern. As I approached the stern I made the ominous discovery the fresh lake water was rushing over the transom and into the boat. It was time for a command decision. It was clear that the SS Nana’s gift had no means available for bailing and was therefore not going to be useable as a vehicle to tow the Lito Torpedo to safety (yet another word of advice – always leave a sizable bailing device safely stowed onboard and not somewhere that it could either float away or submerge). A new plan formed in my water logged mind. Was it possible to get the Lito Torpedo started and rigged to drag the semi submerged SS Nana to safety.

I know what you’re thinking, does this mean that our hero has to go all the way back to the RMC to get the Lito Torpedo key. Have no fear, I planned for all possible scenarios and brought the aforementioned key with me. With one foot in the sinking SS Nana’s gift and one foot aboard the Lito Torpedo I quickly moved all the necessary provisions (except one) onto the new command craft. After a few nervous minutes listening to the engine crank but not fire the welcome sound of pistons cranking filled the now 8:45pm air. I briefly wondered what the local inhabitants thought of the blaring engine noise but decided scr_w-em the mission was far too important. I managed to get the SS Nana secured to the Lito Torpedo. Thank goodness that during my boot camp days I had committed the Bowline knot to memory as the knot had to be tied in complete darkness as I was worried because the light from my military issue flashlight was now waning and would be needed to watch the enemy invested waters for mines. With all lines secure and the engine purring I setout for safe harbor. As I cranked up the RPM’s (and the decibels) I happened to shine my failing light onto the vessel in tow. I noticed that as the RPM's increased the amount of SS Nana freeboard showing decreased (translation – she was going under). I decided that the trip would need to be made at near idle speeds if the mission was to be a success.

I attempted to ride the shoreline to the town landing but quickly learned that there were too many impediments to be encountered in that route. They included boats, moorings, buoys and worst of all those very low bridges that could cause instant decapitation (docks for those of you wondering). Therefore, I decided to venture out into the deep & dark waters to continue my journey. My mind wandered back to my Navy Seal training to help me prepare for any new perils. As I pulled out of memory those life saving tactics I quickly remembered the most important rule. NEVER, EVER go into or onto the water without your PFD. If you recall, earlier our hero mentioned that he forgot one thing when transferring to Lito Torpedo. There I was in the middle of enemy waters in the pitch black, 200 yards from shore and I realize that I forgot to put on the d_mn life jacket. Now I start trying to calculate if I can make it to shore if anything goes wrong. As luck would have it just then the Lito Torpedo engine started to sputter. My mind went into a panic. What if it stalls, how am I (forget the armada) going to make it to shore? Can you believe it, sure enough the engine stalls (I’m not kidding!) and there I am floating out to sea with visions of sharks circling my lean and mean carcass for a snack (stop laughing and let me have my fantasies). I calm myself and try to restart the engine. It starts and quickly stalls again. Why now, of all times would this stupid machine choose to stall. My mind, being the steal trap that it is, races for possible answers and solutions. It quickly comes to the answer. Some idiot has left the choke on full and the engine is flooding. A quick depression of the knob and the engine fires to a roar. I’m back in business. Though, I made a mental note to take those swimming lessons that I’ve been putting off for the last 25 years.

I make my way around the dangerous spit of land that protects that safe harbor and start to think that I’m home free. As I’m trolling along (keeping the SS Nana barely above the waterline) my mind wanders to those summers days spent cruising these waters in the mid afternoon sun. Something in the back of my mind is telling me “Warning, danger Will Robinson”. Wasn’t there a floating pier out here somewhere? I check my military issue flashlight and see that it still has a few rays of light left in it. I shine it forward in hopes that it will illuminate any imminent dangers. Sure enough, the d_mn floating dock is 10 feet in front of me and closing fast. I take immediate evasive maneuvers and hope that the ¾ full bath tub in tow will respond to my hard turn to port. It does but barely and we side swipe the pier but continue on our way. At this point I say scr_w it. I don’t care if the SS Nana’s gift sinks and I give the Lito Torpedo as much throttle as it will take. I want to get to shore and fast. I’ve had enough of the high seas for one night.

Well, I finally pull into the harbor and beach both the Lito Torpedo and the SS Nana’s Gift and walk onto dry land(actually most of the beach is gone due to the rain and subsequent flooding). As I enter the amphibious(I had to put a tarp on the seat it was so wet) vehicle and prepare to trailer the SS Nana’s gift I am feeling relief that I have seen the last of the murky waters of Long Pond for this night. As I’m backing the trailer down the ramp I glance over at where the vehicles are patiently waiting for me. What to my surprise do I see but one vessel, not two The SS Nana’s gift has gone AWOL. I slam on the breaks and run to beach nearly leaving the amphibious vehicle in reverse (wouldn’t that have made the night complete, my truck headlights shining up at me from the bottom of Long Pond). I quickly survey the nearby waters and there is the SS Bitch, sorry I mean SS Nana’s Gift laughing at me from 30 yards off shore and heading north as fast as her fat _ss will take her. Remember that relief I felt knowing my time in the water was done. Well, the swimming lessons will have to wait as I dive into the water to drag the old lady back to shore.

Sure enough, I finally get her back, the trailer is in the water and the end is in site. The strap is hooked up and the winching begins. Earlier I had asked commander Lito if there was anything special about getting the boat onto the trailer. He said no and that I simply needed to set the little latch and winch away. As I’m winching I notice Ole Nana’s fanny starting to sag. I realize that as the bow is rising all of the water is rushing to the stern making it nearly impossible crank. As ordered I set the little latch in place and let go in preparation to go see what to do about the Ole Bag. As I let go that wonderful little latch lets go and the Ole Bag starts to slip back into the water. If you think about the physics of this what is going to happen? The strap is going to run out. What happens to the handle as the strap is reeling out at light speed. It spins like a bastard. Guess where my hand is, right in its path! The extremely hard metal handle repeatedly smashes my left hand until my water logged brain decides it’s had enough and tells it to get the hell out of the way. Luckily my whole body is water logged and pretty numb at this point so the severe pain isn’t going to come until later.

Well, our story is winding down to its conclusion here. Our hero takes the waverunners rear storage compartment (large bucket) and bails out Ole Nana for the next fifteen minutes and then commences winching with his only good hand. He takes a quick look at the latch and notices that its bent to all hell and barely catches the gear if at all(second to last word of advice here – fix the d_mn latch!). Finally the Ole Biddy is on the trailer and heading to the house of Lito with only that little bent latch holding her on. I’m praying she slips off and crashes into a tree but no such luck. I pull into Maison Lito and park Ole Nana in her assigned parking spot. As I’ve bailed out about 100 gallons of water and the battery has now been surfaced for about 20 minutes I figure I’ll try the bilge pump switch for the hell of it. Incredibly it fires up and begins to pump the rest of Long Pond out of Nana’s carcass. 15 minutes later it’s still pumping out foul smelling water as I batten down the rest of the Lito Mansion for the oncoming Category 5 Hurricane (check you stair well for any missing articles including 3 fingers from my battered left hand). I hop in my truck and pull out of my mission commander’s compound sloshing in my cars seat and wondering if my efforts and this mission will be viewed as a success. I take solace in the fact that at least my vibrator is waiting for me at the RMC and with that I give you one final word of advice – get the bilge pump wired up correctly so that it drains the boat even when the switch is off(this is how they are supposed to work).


So, what do you owe me? The list includes:

- A phone(I might credit you this one as it really works well as a vibrator now)
- A flashlight(the damn thing rolled into the bilge as I was bailing and shorted out)
- A new bicycle(mines fine but I figure what the hell, you owe me)
- A new (non water logged) drivers side(mind you) car seat
- Payment of medical bill for cast and setting of bones in my broken left hand
- Payment for tetanus shot from the rusty fish hooks
- Last but not least a skin graft for the parts of my body used as a human brake pad

One positive note – the key (“the key is under the seat”) was still there through all of it

Thank goodness I didn't give you the full version!

Mission Specialist,
Lobsterman!

RE: Weekend Recap

My stomach hurt from laughing at this story.  Another master storyteller.  This ranks right up there with Jeff falling off the fence in NO.  Great job.

-----Original Message-----
From: Mullan, Jeffrey [mailto:JBM@foleyhoag.com]
Sent: Monday, September 19, 2005 8:19 AM
To: Ertel, Tom; tlito@yahoo.com; lapolito@cisco.com; Eric Rocco; smith_miker@hotmail.com; paulm@charterinternet.com; McCarthy, Sean; smithsf@state.gov; Steve and Terri Smith; tom.smith@broadwing.com; Nana Blog
Subject: RE: Weekend Recap

HOF

 

You didn't have to take a piss that whole time?

-----Original Message-----
From: Ertel, Tom [mailto:tertel@ciena.com]
Sent: Monday, September 19, 2005 1:54 AM
To: Mullan, Jeffrey; tlito@yahoo.com; lapolito@cisco.com; Eric Rocco; smith_miker@hotmail.com; paulm@charterinternet.com; smccarthy@harleysvillegroup.com; smithsf@state.gov; Steve and Terri Smith; tom.smith@broadwing.com; Nana Blog
Subject: RE: Weekend Recap

   I've attached a quick overview of what transpired on that fateful night. I'll send you the bill

 

PFC LongPongLobsters

---

From: Mullan, Jeffrey [mailto:JBM@foleyhoag.com]
Sent: Sunday, September 18, 2005 8:18 PM
To: tlito@yahoo.com; lapolito@cisco.com; Eric Rocco; smith_miker@hotmail.com; paulm@charterinternet.com; smccarthy@harleysvillegroup.com; smithsf@state.gov; Steve and Terri Smith; tom.smith@broadwing.com; Ertel, Tom; Nana Blog
Subject: Weekend Recap

The weekend recap….

…Nana's Blog needs a little work.  Tony: can it be set up so that the entire e-mail string doesn't go in there?

…we still need the Nana HOF.

…there is nothing quite so humbling as to get pasted by your 2 year old nephew in fantasy football.  Franky Pancakes blasted me and he still has guys to play.  Since I am subsidizing four teams, if this keeps up, being in the league is going to be like owning a boat.

…I know there is a great story that I have not yet heard regarding the near sinking of the SS Nana's Gift.  I understand that Mr. LongPondLobsters saved the day.  Truly outstanding.  What do I owe you?  Before you answer, remember, the boat was free.

…the photo from JAXXXXIX the other day brought me right back to that moment - sitting in that IHOP with my bad haircut eating breakfast with Richard Dent.  As I recall, he picked up the check that morning - a little told Super Bowl story.

Back to work.

Too late. http://www.nana.com/ has been taken by the Nana Regional Corporation, a client of Foley Hoag's. I have been telling you all along that Nana was one of my best clients. Did you actually think all of this Nana talk was about your grandmother?