The Nation's Officers
This morning, Wednesday, October 20, 2004, Red Sox Nation's population has officially peaked. It follows a great night of Red Sox, a red sock, one gutsy pitcher for the ages, a prima-donna whiner superstar, unruly fans, bogus announcers who tell us a walk in the bottom of the ninth is as bad as a home run, a clutch hit from a guy we all wanted out of there, and more sheer in your belly I can'ttakeitanymore drama. Who among us (besides Tony) would say "Hey Doc, sew my skin together so I can go to work?"
To honor the occasion, the Nation installs this morning its first national officers and cabinet. It is appropriate for this new nation, conceived in desperation, to do this now, during the election season. And, since I thought it, I get to pick a spot for everyone in the group.
President: Carl "The Father of Red Sox Nation" Yastrzemski. Sure, this is a homer pick, but Yaz's 1967 season started this whole thing with the town and the team. Before him, the Sox were lucky to draw 20,000 to a game. Today, they and their ball park are one of the largest tourist attractions in the United States. In an uncanny recall back to our founding fathers, I once heard Yaz mumble "I cannot tell a lie. I never liked Yaz Bread."
Vice President: Seano. Where not sure what he does, what we want him to do, or what role he has in the administration. But, he's a likeable guy who's fun to be around and wears cool hats.
Treasurer: Eric "I'm Your Daddy" Rocco. Figured out, on his own, how to open 529s for all his kids. Plus, conducts a mean interview on the streets of Houston.
Attorney General: An obvious pick - me. Anyone questioning this pick can write me and I will send you my diploma from Close the Cover Before Striking School of Law and Screen Door Repair.
Secretary of State: Steve "What country am I living in this year" Smith. Steve has personally known every SOS since the Reagan administration. That ought to count for something. But it doesn't.
Speaker of the House: MikeR. I have seen him watch sporting events at his family's home in Worcester with the D-Train and can tell you that he is a good speaker. Plus, I remember he had cool speakers in his apartment in Cambridge.
Secretary of Housing and Urban Development: Tom. Not enough big game experience for a higher post. Travels to lots of urban areas, and has lived in more houses that all of us combined.
Director of Homeland Security: Tony. No one person has done more with more to spread the gospel of Red Sox Nation. Seems to have no real job. Travels around the country visiting places, going to events, saying things like "All is Well" and spending lots of money.
The Red Sox and The Red Sock is the name of my new book. It's the story of a guy from Worcester… I'll save that for another day.
JBM
To honor the occasion, the Nation installs this morning its first national officers and cabinet. It is appropriate for this new nation, conceived in desperation, to do this now, during the election season. And, since I thought it, I get to pick a spot for everyone in the group.
President: Carl "The Father of Red Sox Nation" Yastrzemski. Sure, this is a homer pick, but Yaz's 1967 season started this whole thing with the town and the team. Before him, the Sox were lucky to draw 20,000 to a game. Today, they and their ball park are one of the largest tourist attractions in the United States. In an uncanny recall back to our founding fathers, I once heard Yaz mumble "I cannot tell a lie. I never liked Yaz Bread."
Vice President: Seano. Where not sure what he does, what we want him to do, or what role he has in the administration. But, he's a likeable guy who's fun to be around and wears cool hats.
Treasurer: Eric "I'm Your Daddy" Rocco. Figured out, on his own, how to open 529s for all his kids. Plus, conducts a mean interview on the streets of Houston.
Attorney General: An obvious pick - me. Anyone questioning this pick can write me and I will send you my diploma from Close the Cover Before Striking School of Law and Screen Door Repair.
Secretary of State: Steve "What country am I living in this year" Smith. Steve has personally known every SOS since the Reagan administration. That ought to count for something. But it doesn't.
Speaker of the House: MikeR. I have seen him watch sporting events at his family's home in Worcester with the D-Train and can tell you that he is a good speaker. Plus, I remember he had cool speakers in his apartment in Cambridge.
Secretary of Housing and Urban Development: Tom. Not enough big game experience for a higher post. Travels to lots of urban areas, and has lived in more houses that all of us combined.
Director of Homeland Security: Tony. No one person has done more with more to spread the gospel of Red Sox Nation. Seems to have no real job. Travels around the country visiting places, going to events, saying things like "All is Well" and spending lots of money.
The Red Sox and The Red Sock is the name of my new book. It's the story of a guy from Worcester… I'll save that for another day.
JBM
posted by litoblog at 12:19 PM
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